"Being a poly lesbian means choosing love, freedom, and honesty — not just in who we love, but in how we love."
April 9 is National Unicorn Day — a day to celebrate the magical unicorn. In LGBTQ+ spaces, a "unicorn" often refers to a bisexual woman who joins a couple, usually straight, for a relationship or threesome. This idea, called "unicorn hunting," has sparked debate. Many see it as unfair or unequal.
This day also offers a chance to talk about a different but related identity — the poly lesbian. This term blends being lesbian with polysexual or polyamorous identities. Let’s explore what it means with SAPHETTE (formerly Eros Song).
What Is a Poly Lesbian?
A poly lesbian may be someone who is attracted to many genders but mainly dates women or non-men. Or she may love more than one woman at a time. The term fits people who combine lesbian identity with a polysexual or polyamorous view.
Split Attraction Model
Some people feel one kind of attraction to many genders and another kind to only women. The split attraction model helps explain this. A person may feel sexual attraction to many, but romantic feelings only toward women. This helps people better understand their identity.
What Poly Lesbian Relationships Look Like
Poly lesbian relationships take many forms. A common one is a throuple — a romantic trio. Others may include a group or a mix of linked partners. The key is honest and open connection. One well-known example is a lesbian throuple featured by PinkNews. Each woman had her own bond with the others. They also shared time and love as a group.
The Unicorn Myth
The term “unicorn” can reduce people to a fantasy. Some couples look for a bisexual woman to join them. Often, this third person has less say in the relationship. That can create a power imbalance. Poly lesbians are not “unicorns.” They seek equal, respectful love.
Misconceptions About Poly Lesbians
Some believe poly lesbians are confused or afraid of commitment. These ideas are wrong. Poly lesbians value love and connection. They choose open love because it fits who they are, not because they can’t commit.
Emotional Skills in Poly Relationships
Poly lesbians need strong communication. They talk openly, set clear rules, and respect each other’s feelings. These skills help avoid problems like jealousy or misunderstanding.
Real Voices
The women in the PinkNews story said their poly relationship taught them that it’s possible to love more than one person. They each shared separate bonds. They also worked as a team. Good communication made their love stronger.
Media and Visibility
Poly lesbians are not often seen in TV or movies. When shown, they are sometimes reduced to a joke or a fantasy. Real stories can help change this. Honest, full portrayals can help people feel seen and understood.
Pronouns and Respect
Poly lesbians may use many kinds of pronouns — she/her, they/them, he/him, or others. Never guess. Ask politely or use someone’s name if unsure. Respect in language helps create safer spaces.
Pride Flags and Symbols
Poly lesbians have flags and symbols that show their pride. The poly-lesbian flag was created by a Tumblr user bi-lesbian on January 2020. Besides, an alternative poly-lesbian flag was crafted by Tumblr user kenochoric on October 2020. Though the meanings aren’t set, these flags still show identity and belonging.
The poly-lesbian symbol is a turquoise and lavender flower overlaid with a purple crescent moon and framed by a vibrant pink crescent shape.
Identity Can Change
Some people change labels as they grow. That’s okay. A person might feel more lesbian at one point and more polysexual at another. The label “poly lesbian” fits those who feel both sides.
What Makes Polyamory Ethical?
True polyamory is about choice and respect. Everyone should agree and feel safe. It’s not about having many partners. It’s about building trust and care in each bond.
Finding Community
There are many online groups and books for support. “The Ethical Slut” and “Polysecure” are great resources. Forums and blogs also help poly lesbians connect and share.
Closing Thoughts
To be a poly lesbian is to love with honesty and care. You might love many people. You might focus on women. What matters is that your identity feels right to you.
Want to explore more? See all posts about lesbian culture.
